Jay Oh Bee,

One morning, two weeks after I turned 15 my mother, having been 4 months pregnant at the time, in a hormonal rage screamed at me to be out of her house by the time she got home from work. of course me being the rebellious 15 year old that I was, did exactly that. I didn't have much at the time and I thank God that my future husband's family was kind enough to take me in. I really didn't know what to expect from that point on from anyone in my life. I know that no one came to my rescue, no one defended me or offered to take me in. I think at that point everyone felt that I was going to end up pregnant, a drug addict, loser, low-life scum. No one tried to reach out or take me in. Everyone probably figured I was my mother's problem. I refused to fall into the same-cycle a lot of my family member's did. I guess it's part of Puerto Rican culture to let a child 'make-their-bed-&-lie-in-it'. Instead of nurturing them, guiding them, being there for them unconditionally whether they follow your rules or not.

I knew my future mother-in-law wasn't too pleased about me staying there with her son. But being the Mother Theresa she was and still is, she couldn't let me live on the streets. For that, I will be forever grateful. Had they not taken me in, Lord knows where I would be now. What direction my life would have taken, what dumps I would have ended up in. I'm playing, it wouldn't have been that horrendous.

I knew from the beginning that I didn't want to be a burden on their family. I wanted to be invisible. I was shamed that my mother had thrown me out and I wanted them to know that I wasn't that bad of a kid so I looked for a job right away. The first place that hired me was Wilson's Leather in Valley Fair. I was very good at what I did there. I was top sales associate in the whole district during my first six months of employment. The managers I worked under didn't understand how I achieved this month after month. It was easy now that I think about it. I sold everyone on their lay-away program. Lay-away was something I knew very well. Customers loved the idea of having to only pay small portions monthly. Business was booming! I ignored the 'Jiminy Cricket' in my head each time I sold an item on lay-away knowing deep down this person was NOT going to fulfill the contract and pay in full by a certain date. I just sold with 100% confidence that I was going to make that extra money in commission. And that I did.

After the first 6 months I received $100 gift certificate for my achievements. I went to the Wilson's Leather at the Great Mall and bought an ugly blue leather jacket that I never wore. Also, all the lay-aways I had sold started coming back unpaid. I began to lose commission and I began to lose interest in that job. I worked there for a total of 9 months. I had little jobs since then but my big break came in 2001 when I seen a flyer at my high school's career center for Race Street Foods paying 10$ an hour. That was a lot for me. I got all dressed up in my Sunday best for that interview. Had I known that I had the job before I even walked in there I wouldn't have gotten so dressed up.

I worked weekdays, weekends, part time as a counter clerk. Learned a lot about myself in those times. Learned a lot about working in those times. I was the only girl working there because apparently smelling like fish wasn't very desirable for most 18 year old girls because they already smelled like fish! I had nothing to hide.

I climbed up pretty quick at Race Street. I was a fish cutter in 2 years, an Inside Sales Consultant in 3 years, and a slave to the entire restaurant industry since. A job that was suppose to only get me through college while I trained and prepared myself for a more rewarding, permanent and not so dead-endish career ended up being my less rewarding, more permanent stable, dead endish career.

No one could have prepared me for the anguish I suffer here everyday. Minus the complaining, the problems, the mistakes, the high prices, the 2 high maintenance reps, the back pain, the weight gain, the low-office morale, the parking, the rules, the politics, I have to admit that I kinda like my job. Sure it sucks at times, but having watched people around me lose their jobs, their health care, their sanity, I've realized that Race Street has been nothing but good to me. I know I can call in sick at any given moment and they will understand, I can come in late everyday and no one would say a word, I have free health care, I have 401K options, internet at work, I can use the phone anytime, the bathroom anytime, I can take breaks anytime if I wanted but I never do, I sometimes get free food from customers, I always get free offers that I rarely comp on, I work with girls that have become my family, owners that consider me family, and I know that it would take something pretty crazy to happen for them to fire me.

I must remember these things when I want to strangle someone here....