The Root Of All Evil...

No it's not my mother or the tobacco industry or the roach coach or bubble guts or forgetful buyers here at RSF or Rocky Road Ice Cream or Facebook or yeast infections or my memory or drugs or menstrual periods, it's MONEY!

It's the reason you work and abandon your family for 8 hours a day sometimes more sometimes less. It's the reason you pick or not pick certain people as friends. It's the reason we invite certain people places or why we fight with significant loved ones. The reason you don't pick up the phone sometimes or the reason why you do. The reason you avoid people, stores, church, school, corners, and sometimes family. The reason why you dress a certain way, why your kids dress a certain way. It determines what kind of car you decide to drive and where you chose to get it serviced. Why you decide to take certain trips or shop in certain places.

It's the reason why you feel relieved after you have been stressing for days on end about rent, car payments, bills period. You pray every night that everyone stays healthy and that no one dies because hospital care is expensive and so are funerals. It can make you happy and it can make you miserable.

People like to lie sometimes and say that having money isn't everything and that it can't buy happiness. Sure it can't buy permanent happiness, but the following things are items money can buy that can make you happy; fake tits, nice clothes, sex, dancing, shoes, food, jewelry, friends, bottle service, limo rides, drugs, tattoos all of which bring great happiness.

People who have a lot of money rarely think of anything else besides trying to get more of it or scam people out of theirs. They don't think about the family down the street struggling or the hungry people downtown, or the kids dying at St. Jude's. Who knows maybe I wouldn't either.

Living pay check to last week's paycheck is no joke. Sitting at a desk all day where the people that surround you boast of good wine, fine dining, expensive schools, expensive vacations, upgrades, and making more money tends to over cast your situation and bring you down more than normal. You begin to imagine what you would do with just a portion of the money they held. I'm sure these things aren't done with malicious intent. They couldn't have a clue about how this month's rent was going to be late for the first time had God disguised as Uncle Sam not came through last minute.

When I have it I don't value it. I convince myself that I can spend it all today cause I will get paid again next week. I am a wreckless shopper and although I am frugal, I am frugal in a I-can-buy-more-because-it's-cheap kind of way. I can go to the dollar store simply because everything is a dollar and still somehow manage to spend 50 dollars. After all a sugar holder is imperative to any kitchen especially mine where we hardly eat sugar that way.

I try to scheme get rich quick ideas but some how forget the extent of my laziness. I pick small fights with the person closest to me out of frustration. I ignore people who call me who do have money and bitch about how they are so poor. I push things to the back of my brain as if they are going to disappear there....

And then Taxes come and I am relieved! I release anxiety through heavy sighing, mental cart wheels, and then in my mind I practically spend it all in it's entirety while landing dangerously at square one again. I promised myself that I will be more money responsible for myself, my family, and my children.

Amen