Supervising For The Boss

Mother Nature is a scary angry bitch. She puts the PMS in PMS. The only mother she really is is a mother-fucker if you don't heed the news or her warnings. She can ruin your day in an instant and in the same way make it all beautiful again. A certain supernatural power that really only mother's have and women in general. Her tantrums are never ignored and she can switch her mood at any given moment.

She is ruthless and when her wrath unravels everyone feels it. She doesn't care if you just washed your car after weeks of not washing it, she will shower herself all over your newly shined windows. She doesn't care if you just raked all your leaves off your lawn, she will blow a gusty wind so strong it'll knock you right into the pile you just gathered. She doesn't care if you made plans to go to the beach this weekend because of how happy she has been lately by showing us some sunshine, she will rain all over your parade before you can even get it started.

She certainly doesn't care if you just got your hair did, your weave glued, your new kicks on, or that you wore flip flops to work instead of rain boots, or that you sent your kids to school in skirts cause judging by the last couple of days you assumed it was going to be hot.

And most importantly, she can give a flying (insert vulgar cuss word here), if your country just recently had a huge earthquake, a tsunami, a radio active plant in supreme danger, a good portion of your population dead, buildings and homes in shambles, families torn apart rebuilding what was theirs for centuries from the bottom up again. She will send another seizure your way, no mercy from any part including the part of her name that includes the word mother.

And although her fury is unyielding, she works for a Boss who is far more forgiving than she. A Boss who, like most bosses, uses a manager or a supervisor to write people up, suspend them, punish them for showing up late everyday, stealing from the company or taking advantage of the establishment that gave them a job to begin with. To scare them into getting their shit together and get right before the 'Big Boss' shows up for inspection.

Instead of scaring yourself with 'end-of-the-world' prophecies, building underground/above ground refuge while seeking solace in your basements filled with years of food supply, water, canned goods, dirty magazines, walkie-talkies, aluminum foil antennae, and Mayan calendars why not seek solace in the fact that you are still alive? In the fact that Mother Nature may be a crazy bitch, but the Big Boss gave her the okay to let you live another day to get your shit in order, your ducks in a row, your priorities straight, your black heart purified, your dirty mind cleansed all before He shows up.

No one knows when He's coming, not the Mayans, not Dionne Warwick or Miss Cleo, not the History Channel, or Discovery Channel, not even Mother Nature herself. I just hope He takes the long way here because as of now my ducks are scattered all over the bay.