One particular magazine I like to read is filled with inspiring articles, exceptional pictures, enticing endorsements and sometimes just from touching it's silky cover and turning it's bold pages I can feel the awesomeness seep into my dry skin hence making me that much more cooler. The interviews are with very interesting people and formatted in such a way that you can't help but read till the bitter end. The paper it is printed on feels good on the finger tips and reminds your hands to be very careful despite its durable texture. The writers are unmatched in their craft and they tend to provoke a sense of "what-the-f*ck-am-I-doing-in-my-life-that's-this-cool?" The answer always ends up being NOTHING.
One section towards the back is a list of songs on an ipod owned by someone from the magazine or a friend of a friend or a band or another artist or I am not sure which other person because the print is so small it takes too much effort to read but I quite enjoy this part because I like to see how many songs are on my own Ipod (usually 1 -2 songs) and how many of them I can sing.
Another section in the back is from one of the writer's and if I have to pick a favorite section it's this one. The name escapes my memory but about 98% of the time after I am done reading this section I always feel inclined to pick up a pen and make sweet sweaty stinky love to a blank page.
While reading it last night I realized my only grievance with this publication besides the print being too small for my impaired eyes is that every other page has a topless girl on it. I'm no feminist, or womanist, or prude (well maybe a prude but hey that's life) it's just that the magazine itself is excellent and to picture a topless girl every other page just makes it seem pseudo porn-ish and for me devalues the content. Clearly it is geared more towards men and lesbians and bi-sexuals and metro sexuals and whatever sexuals I missed but are they not confident that their content is captivating enough to keep the reader intrigued? Or perhaps their lack of confidence lies in the male attention span? I honestly think they do it simply because they can and the girls are hot so why not? You own a magazine and have complete control over its essence and if your penis has complete control over you then a "random-hot-girl" that is pleasant to the eye (the one on your penis) is what you deem enticing, then do it!
Now don't get me wrong I am a lover of all things boobies, big boobies, small boobies, small teats, huge teats, droopy ones, perky ones, slouchy ones, sad ones, happy ones, transparent ones, dark ones, lactating ones, and for extra funny fun, floppy ones. Although the latter rarely make the pages, I understand a slip of the nip every so often is intriguing but when it gets to the point where I start to question the hotness of my own boobs I get scared. Maybe that's all it is is jealousy. I'll be the first to admit it and depending on my mood the first to deny it.
When I first started reading it, I thought it was super cool, daring, fresh and fearless, but after 8 or so magazine-skimmings and noticing the boobage flicks increasing in amount and size I found myself feeling stupidly insecure. Sure I can switch the page, ignore it, pretend it's not there, focus on the articles and all the core ingredients that keep me captivated in its content to begin with, but who am I kidding? What human being flips thru a magazine, spots a boob or something that closely resembles a boob and really just pretends it isn't there?
So I guess you can say that all those things I swear I am not, I secretly am. It shames me indeed to admit that the part of me that use to admire a nice bosom is now replaced with a feeling of envy amidst a side of adoration. Perhaps it's time to start doing some push-ups to achieve the greatness pictured below and in turn raise my own level of security in order to entirely enjoy what has now become one of my favorite periodicals.
here's to great looking "guns" around the world
